Sewing August 2, 2008

Yeah, I sew. Or rather I am trying to. Been trying for ages. Today I thought I’ve finally had enough practice to go for a bigger project. So I decided I should sew a dress. It looked really simple enough online. And it probably would have worked if I actually took measurements. Yeah,I was lazy and decided it was easier to just tailor it around my own body. After the dress was “done”. I realized I couldn’t fit in. Because it was fitted. I would have to put it on my body and then sew up the sides in order for it to fit. *UGH* Silly me. But it was a good first try. Since it was a total failure, I decided to do something easy -  a cover for a notebook.

There it is. Nothing too special, but some small achievement at least. So my day wasn’t a TOTAL waste. Well, I went blading with Martin so the day wasn’t a total waste anyway. Oh, did I mention the notebook isn’t mine? It’s Flo’s. Sorry Flo, you got to have a girly notebook cover now. :p He’s not around to bother about me now so I can do what I want. Hehe.

That photo gave me an idea. Let’s try….

The last one was me as my laptop screen, in case someone didnt’ get it. Haha. I am rather amused. Good to realize I can entertain myself. Now off to watch tv.

Hiking at Garmisch Partenkirchen August 1, 2008

I was hiking last week and I think I’m becoming a semi-fan of hiking. Uphill sucks but I really enjoyed the workout. I’m thinking about making it a regular thing. I could lose the weight.

Protected: Sigh July 31, 2008

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Road Manners in Munich July 24, 2008

I initially wanted to title this post ‘German road manners’ but figured that it could be only in Bayern. Anyway, I cycle to work everyday and of course there’s one million things I could complain about like how cyclists love to constantly ring their bells and how they love to tell you to get out of their way when the path is SO wide.

But today is the last straw. I was cycling home from the four-way crossing and it turned green for me. I NEVER cross when it’s red.  I was going straight and then comes this car right at me to my left and almost hits me. But remember, it’s already green for me. So he either one, shot a red light or two, accelerated just as it was red. Then he almost hits me (but doesn’t) cos he slowed down and I saw him. AND HE HAD THE FUCKING CHEEK TO YELL AT ME and make all sorts of hand and face gestures from the car. Thankfully I couldn’t hear what he was saying. It was my freaking right of way! Or do Germans here just LOVE to boss people around even when they are clearly wrong? He shouldn’t even have tried to shoot across the red light in the first place.

I’m sooooo pissed off right now and extremely sick of being yelled at on the road. I get yelled at enough when it’s my fault already, I don’t need to get yelled at when it isn’t. Anyway, I’m like a model cyclist now and I never break any of the rules so I don’t need this shit from other motorists.

*deep breath* Ok, I am going off to cool down.

Sleepless night again July 12, 2008

It’s 4:07 in the morning and I’m still not tired. I mean, I long for my bed but I just can’t fall asleep. I guess I’ll just have to watch more shows till I fall asleep.

At some point I’ll run out of shows to watch.

Protected: I promised no more unhappy messages so this one’s blocked July 8, 2008

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June 12, 2008

ARGHH!!!!!! OK, I SUCK. There, I’ve said it. I don’t think anyone hates me more than me.

June 11, 2008

I should be blogging about Rock im Park, but I haven’t had the photos I wanted yet so that will have to wait. So I was just chatting to my ex bf today, well, THE ex bf since I’ve had only one serious one. And he says that he’s a dad since last week. I have no feelings already but the thought of our time together and the idea that he is a dad, is quite freaky. I mean, that’s THE EX. And now he’s someone’s dad. Looking at how different our lives are now, I can’t say it was wrong to break up. We would have eventually had to change too much of ourselves to be together. Then again, much of me changed after we broke up. Oh no, I have no more time to think about this, I’m late for my experiment. GRRR.

Discrimination? Anscheinend. June 3, 2008

Ok, I’m blogging like mad these few days but I’m so annoyed from everything that happened today so I have to blog. So this morning when I was going to work I bumped into a new neighbour and here’s what the conversation was like:

her: ziehen sie ein?

me: ja

her: reeenoooviiiieren?

me: ja, neue kueche.

her: guuuute naaaachbaaarschaaaft.

me: ja

her: doooo yooooou underrrrrstaaaaand? goooood neiiighboooourhooood.

me: ja.

(awkward silence in lift.)

now why am I pissed? because she said it in such a speed that was slower than my grandmother’s walking. I am a foreigner, but I am NOT retarded. I can understand German even if spoken at normal speed. The I go cycling and I almost run into the postman cos I didn’t know he was going to walk out from the bloody bushes. Then he askes me if I just learnt to cycle. Na toll. THEN, as I was coming home from work and I was thinking already about the two incidents and I was reminded of the time when even the doctors here in Germany would not speak to me in English, even though after I said I had lost them halfway. I was feeling discriminated and shitty and as I was near the main door to my apartment, this kid playing in front me me suddenly gets up and throws a fucking huge acorn at me. And his mom just fucking stood there and didn’t even apologize! So that is IT. I am bloody as hell pissed today. I don’t think anyone can say I never tried to fit in. I ALWAYS try to accommodate and adapt to the culture but today it fucking feels like I’m getting no thanks for the effort of respecting and adapting to life here but rather a slap in the face for being a foreigner.

I’m off to eat something to calm my nerves.

On life June 2, 2008

Life. Bah. Life is so uncertain and tiring. I am sitting here wondering where my life will take me. It keeps taking me to all the wrong places and all the wrong choices. Well, ok, not all. There’s some good left in my life. I’m so worried about the uncertainty of it all. What do I truly want out of life? Is it too late to go back and do everything all again? Would I then make the right decisions or the same ones again? I think I have the courage to let go everything familiar and start all over again. Would it then be worth it? Would it be everything that I had hoped or would it just be another disappointment? Would I be another disappointment? I want to talk to someone, but I don’t know what to say. I don’t know who would listen or even understand. Everyone judges and the last thing I want is to be judged. Moreover, I don’t want to open up myself and leave myself vulnerable. There’s only one person so far who I have opened up to and he hasn’t made me feel shitty about myself. But he’s so faraway now and he wants to stay there forever, well, another year at least. (ja ja, I know, I’ll come visit.)

Ok, the kitchen guy is done installing the kitchen that took only… 7 whole f**king hours. It bloody hell sucks to be the one at home waiting for all the renovation to be done because my work is apparently less important than Flo’s. I’m signing off to watch tv.